Category Archives: Family

Posts about my family the good and the bad.

I Admit to Neglecting Certain Things.

This blog has been seriously neglected. I have even have had a hard time keeping up with school work. I knew when I decided to write, I would ignore many things in my life. I didn’t realize that I would have inspiration at a time when I was busy with school and I have taking on the responsibility of child care for my grand-daughter again. Who would have known that my muse would be a 22 month old girl that had curly hair and a smile that would light up the world and does not understand what nap time is.

I always wanted to write “The Great Novel.” Instead, I have went a different route. From the time Anna was born, I have taking on the responsibility of making sure she was taught the basics. I admit that I want her to be smart. I want her to have all the opportunities available to her. Being poor, her mother and I are not able to afford a nice child care environment with trained educators. Nor are we able to afford to buy software and other items that are helpful in teaching her these things.

I have researched and created books for her since she was born. I never actually thought to write one to publish until this past week. As it is a children’s book (mostly), there are pictures and choices for review. Also, included is some hints to other untrained toddler educators out there. Please feel free to check it out on Amazon.

Fun with The Alphabet

The Day of Surgery (A Baby’s Story)

Anna’s Side Of The Story:

 

The day started out very strange. Mama and Momo would not let me have anything to drink or eat. Everyone else got dressed but we left with me in my pjs. I never go anywhere in my pjs.  We went to this strange place that I have never been before.

 

It was kinda like my doctor’s office but a little different. Mama and Momo was a bit stressed I could tell but they let me write with Momo’s pen while we sat with all the other people there.  Then this lady came and said my name.

 

After I stepped on a scale, we went into a little room with a bed and chair. The lady was talking to Mama. The next thing I know, Mama is putting a funny looking shirt on me and taking off my pjs. The lady came back and finally I got something to drink. They said was grape juice but it sure did taste funny.

 

Not long after drinking the juice, I started feeling really strange. Sort of like I had been turning circles with Mama for a long time. I wanted to play but Mama and Momo would not let me get down.  A strange man came in room and started talking to Mama and I thought he was nice at that time.

 

Before long, two ladies came and took me away from Mama and Momo. Not long after that the nice man, who turned out to be not so nice, put a mask on my face. I think I fell asleep. I woke up feeling really off. I wanted to get down and move around but nobody would let  me.  I think  I hit the nurse and Mama and Momo but I couldn’t say why. I just know I felt groggy, my nose and ears felt funny, and my throat hurt bad. Mama told me that my adenoids had been taking out and I had tubes put in my ears. Why they did that to me, I don’t know.  Even after we went home, I still felt strange. I couldn’t walk very good and kept falling over.

Adenoidectomy, Removal of Adenoids:

Apparently, Anna’s adenoids were enlarged and this could cause problems with breathing down the road. Also, this could have added to her frequent ear and nasal infections.

Tympanostomy  (P. E.) Tubes, Tubes inserted in ears to help fluid to drain:

Anna had a large amount of fluid build up behind her ear drums. This could be from the ear infections that it never seemed to go away. This causes hearing loss and could be why she has not seemed to hear us sometimes.

Momo’s Side of The Story:

All I know is, I am glad it is over and I just want to hold my sweet angel. She was so good before the surgery, even flirted with the anesthesiologist. After the surgery, she was so upset and grouchy. It has been 5 hours and she is still walking a little funny but doing good. (In Anna’s part of the story I had to assume how she felt about a few things)

Do You Believe in Angels?

Grand children are angels.

Everyone should have a grand child.

I don’t make it a secret that I am not a religious person. I don’t believe in religion. In my opinion, religions tend to become exclusive. If you are not of the religion, you are bad, evil, or doomed. I can’t imagine a “God” creating people just to throw them away because of an opinion. However, I am not a complete non believer. There are things in the universe that can’t be explained.I believe in miracles and angels.

Miracles are all around us if we just take the time to look. Any woman who has had a baby and held it in her arms for the first time understands a miracle. A tree growing to the sky from a tiny seed is pure miraculous. There are countless medical miracle stories in the world. We see and hear about miracles all the time. Some of us are too jaded to understand the miracle but they are there all the same.

There are many true angels in the world. There is constant stories about animals saving people in some miraculous way. Also, people have been known to be angels in other’s lives either in life or death or just in the everyday. For me, my family is full of angels. As I discussed in my post  Will The Cycle Never End, my daughter saved my life by inspiring me to leave an abusive relationship. I call my grand-daughter, my angel, all the time. She and her mother constantly remind me of what is important in the world. Without them, I would be less of a person. If that isn’t an angel, I don’t know what is. The picture I posted says Grand Children are angels. However, I believe that every person in the world has some form of angel inside them. It is up to that person to allow that part of them to shine.

I don’t believe in religion. I do believe in the goodness of people and nature. I believe in love and hope. I believe that every person, animal (even snakes), and plant has in them the miracle of life and can be an angel when they are needed.  I believe in you and me.

Will The Cycle Never End?

Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

When he came home, I knew I was in trouble. I hadn’t mopped the floor yet. He was already upset because we had found out that the baby was a girl. I was secretly happy but I know he wanted a boy. He said he understood about the floor, this scared me more. One hour later, I woke up. I had passed out when he chocked me.  He was tender as he helped me to get into bed. I had to try harder to be a better housekeeper. He knew I was young but he doesn’t like it when I make him mad. I had to stop with excuses and do better. He doesn’t like having to hurt me. No, it’s ok that the baby is a girl. That just means we can try again for a boy.

This happened over 20 years ago but it seems like it was yesterday. I can still feel the coldness of the bathroom floor and see the white walls of our apartment. I can still feel his hands around my throat and my feet dangling where he held me against the wall. It has always been with me. Usually, it is in the back of my mind and I can overlook it. Sometimes, something would happen and it is like I am back in that bathroom. For instance, reading a blog from someone who is speaking out, Prego and the Loon.

It is no surprise, when someone I love like a daughter, my niece, has finally left her abuser that I would think of this time in my life. Will this time she get away for good like I finally did or will she go back. I don’t know. I hope she is finally free of that life.

I was one of the lucky, or smart ones, I left 6 months after that incident. He hit me with my daughter in my arms. While I could take him hurting me, I could never let him hurt my baby girl. I tell Brittany she saved my life and she did. Eventually, he would have killed me.

Woman stay in an abusive relationship for many reasons. Religious and family pressure is one reason; divorce is frowned upon in many cases.  Financial and emotional dependency is another reason; in some cases, the abuser has held their victim down by saying they don’t need to work or they don’t need anyone but them. Another reason is fear, of failure, the abuser, or just of change. Self esteem, also, plays an important role in why a woman stays. They feel unworthy of love that does not include abuse. Whatever the reason, too many woman stay (Peer support services for Abused women).

Domestic violence is a real threat to many. Sometimes, it seems the cycle never ends. Children who see this abuse have a higher chance of growing up to either be abusers or to be the victim (safehorizon). I witnessed my mother’s abuse; I became the victim at 19. Brittany swears she has not been abused by any of her boyfriends but I am not sure. I am so scared that she will continue this cycle. My niece is just another victim of the abuse but one that breaks my heart more than my own.

Links About Domestic Violence:

safehorizonDomestic Violence Statisticsdomesticviolence.orgPeer support services for Abused womenPrego and the Loon

Do You Believe In Santa Claus?

Believe in Santa Clause.

Believe In Something.

December means Christmas in my family and my part of the world.  It is of course a Christian holiday to celebrate the Birth of Jesus. It is said to be about the spirit of giving and love and peace.  I am not a religious person but I still celebrate this holiday because I do understand the meaning.  My grand-daughter, at almost 2, understand a little about Christmas, at least the presents part. She cries if I say she is being naughty. She loves the tree and the decorations. She enjoyed the Christmas movies we found for her to watch.

“Santa” comes and brings the “good” boys and girls lots of presents that cost a fortune. Some families go in debt this time of year to give their children what they want while other families go without. Luckily, My daughter and I was smart and started early. Santa will be good to my grand-daughter this year. Of course, not as good as some will get but she will be happy.

Peace seems to have gotten lost in the shopping and the drunken family gatherings. I refuse to go to Wal-Mart in December. The last time I did, I got run over by a little old lady in cart for the last Nilla Waffers box. Luckily, my daughter loves to shop and I can trick her into doing this for me. As for the parties, there is no escape. I have a fear of crowds and spend most of these in corners but once they are over, my mom and the kids had fun and that is the most important thing right.

Of course, during this season more and more people are charitable and give. There are toy drives and food baskets giving out in abundance. I remember when my daughter was little and I was one of those parent’s unable to afford to buy my daughter much. The Livingston Parish Sheriffs Dept brought over a big box of toys for my little girl. It even had the go to gift of the year, The Tickle Me Elmo. I cried for hours. I will never forget the look on my daughter’s face that year, all she asked for was a Barbie Doll. I had bought that for her. That was the year I come to believe in Santa Claus, or the spirit of him, again.

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words could break my heart.

“She is lazy, refuses to grow up, and never will have anything. She is a daydreamer. And what is with the computer, she is always on it when she should be looking for job.”

In truth, I admit I would rather sit than stand. I sleep late at times, when I can sleep. My mind never stops, you see. Always, there is something going on it and insomnia is a part of my life. There are times I wish I could stop “daydreaming.”

What is grown up anyway? Does anyone know? Is a job required? I realize a job is important, a goal in life. That is one reason why I am in school. I work hard enough at that to maintain a 4.0. Don’t get me wrong, I am looking for a job but I am mature enough to realize that when you are looking for job it is best to be honest about hours you can work, daycare is only open so many hours, and what you can do, I am not old but not young either. While it may take longer to find a job, you do want to be able to keep it when you get it.

As for the computer, I do admit I have some fun at the computer. I write on my blog. I even have been known to check out a few free dating sites, still haven’t found one that isn’t mostly about sex. Of course, I also go to school on the computer and for IT. I look for jobs on the computer.

Never have anything? But I already have so much, I have a daughter and a grand daughter. I have my mind, that annoys me but is a pretty good mind. I have a sister, that is sometimes my best friend and sometimes my rival. I have a mother and a Dad, even if they don’t get me and they can make me mad, I still have them there and I am happy for it. I don’t have a fancy car, in fact, I owe my Dad about 3 grand for helping me and my daughter get a car. I don’t own my own home. My daughter and I rent a adorable, small 2 bedroom trailer in a nice little trailer park. It’s home to us, that is all that matters. I have so much that money will never buy.

All the things in the first paragraph could be said about me but I am so much more than that. People need to stop before they speak because their words have impact on a person. Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words could break my heart.

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