Category Archives: Me

Post that describe who I am and what makes me tick in various ways.

I Think I Am Hungry.

Not only do I have a screw loose, I can't find the screwdriverScatterbrained, ditzy, a bit confused, absentminded. All of these words have been used to describe me. I wish I could say it was age. However, unfortunately I have been a bit distracted most of my life. It just seems to be getting worse with age.

The thing is I am a smart person, not bragging (ok a little). I just tend to have so much on my mind that I forget things like how long it has been since I ate.  For school and anything important, I am good if I use checklist that I lay our for myself. I love Microsoft OneNote for helping me keep up with that. However, for the little every day things I tend to lose focus or I get caught up in something and overlook them. I wonder if other people have this issue or is it just me.


Does The Simple Things Get You Down?

When all else fails, read the instructions.

Am I in over my head? For most of my life, I had no self confidence and I never felt like I was good enough. In the past few years, I have tried very hard to look at my good qualities. I am smart, even it I sometimes lack common sense. I am not physically strong, but I have mental and emotional, usually, strength. I can read anything and usually comprehend it. Sometimes I revert back to that girl that can’t seem to do anything. Every term, something happens, usually it is something simple, that causes me to be that girl.

Usually, it doesn’t take me long to get the hang of whatever it is I am learning and I even enjoy it. Yesterday, I started a new term. This one is all technical. Foundations of IT and Foundations of Programming Using Visual Basic. I have been very excited about both courses, especially Visual Basic. Of course for that course, I have to have Visual Studio 2010. I seemed to be rolling along nicely on this term, reading the chapters in the etextbooks for both classes and was understanding most of everything.

I quickly found the program and downloaded it as soon as I knew what version I needed. Then it happened. I could not get the program to work. I kept thinking to myself, I can do this. However, nothing I tried seemed to work. Nearly in tears, I called my sister. I knew she would remind me that I am “smart” and I can do this. I finally decided to walk away. All day, I am in over my head kept playing in my mind over and over. If I can’t even get the program to work, then what business do I have being a IT student. I decided I would have to call tech support today, something I am proud of not having to do yet.

I couldn’t sleep last night. No surprise there. However, I kept thinking about this situation. I grabbed my laptop and glanced at my receipt. Oh, it had instructions. “Instructions: Burning the .ISO/.IMG file onto a disc.” Duh, no wonder it couldn’t work. Now I am not one to say duh often but reading instructions, especially when it is only one simple statement, is kind of obvious.

There are times when frustration gets the better of us. We tend to let it undermine our abilities and self confidence. During those times, you should not let it get you down. Walk away, re read your paperwork. or even find that one person that will boost your ego (Thanks, Tammy, my sister and ego booster). It usually is something simple, like reading instructions, that has tripped you up.

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words could break my heart.

“She is lazy, refuses to grow up, and never will have anything. She is a daydreamer. And what is with the computer, she is always on it when she should be looking for job.”

In truth, I admit I would rather sit than stand. I sleep late at times, when I can sleep. My mind never stops, you see. Always, there is something going on it and insomnia is a part of my life. There are times I wish I could stop “daydreaming.”

What is grown up anyway? Does anyone know? Is a job required? I realize a job is important, a goal in life. That is one reason why I am in school. I work hard enough at that to maintain a 4.0. Don’t get me wrong, I am looking for a job but I am mature enough to realize that when you are looking for job it is best to be honest about hours you can work, daycare is only open so many hours, and what you can do, I am not old but not young either. While it may take longer to find a job, you do want to be able to keep it when you get it.

As for the computer, I do admit I have some fun at the computer. I write on my blog. I even have been known to check out a few free dating sites, still haven’t found one that isn’t mostly about sex. Of course, I also go to school on the computer and for IT. I look for jobs on the computer.

Never have anything? But I already have so much, I have a daughter and a grand daughter. I have my mind, that annoys me but is a pretty good mind. I have a sister, that is sometimes my best friend and sometimes my rival. I have a mother and a Dad, even if they don’t get me and they can make me mad, I still have them there and I am happy for it. I don’t have a fancy car, in fact, I owe my Dad about 3 grand for helping me and my daughter get a car. I don’t own my own home. My daughter and I rent a adorable, small 2 bedroom trailer in a nice little trailer park. It’s home to us, that is all that matters. I have so much that money will never buy.

All the things in the first paragraph could be said about me but I am so much more than that. People need to stop before they speak because their words have impact on a person. Sticks and stones may break my bones but your words could break my heart.

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The Writer In Me

I say I am a writer. I have written on another blog and for school work. I have started several novels but could never finish them. The ideas come at me and keep my brain going. Sometimes, I can’t sleep because they just wont stop. This is my place to share my stories with the world. Also, my place to share my insights, thoughts, and ideas.